I had a pretty harsh reality this past weekend, because Friday I ate four cupcakes and drank so much alcohol that my boyfriend was shocked and said he hadn’t seen me drink that much before.
The next day I woke up hungover and I had an appointment to get my hair done. So I’m hungover sitting in a chair for NINE hours while I got these tree braids put in my hair.
The whole time I’m sitting in the chair i was just talking to myself saying that this shit needs to end. I need to stop drinking all together and I honestly feel powerless over cupcakes and cake but I can atleast stop OVEReating and Bingeing on them. If I can try to buy just one cupcake a week I think I can manage that. All day sitting in that chair I was telling myself that I am tired of wasting my money, all this money I spent on a trainer and I am ruining my efforts by my dietary choices and most of all drinking so much alcohol. I think the alcohol is the worst as far as calories and it’s so easy for me to over drink. But I think it will be easier for me to stop drinking than to stop eating cupcakes.
I want to get this fat off of my stomach and I know that eating less cake, cupcakes and chicken wings plus adding cardio will help. I recommitted to my self that I CAN do this. I don’t like the way I feel when I don’t exercise and eat bad.
I have a race in 5 weeks.
I have not been running at all the past two months.
Sunday I woke up and went to the gym and re-started my running training with Week 4 of the Couch to 5k. It was really hard doing 5 minute intervals. I kinda got mad at myself because if I would have kept up with my running, I would be able to run for 20 – 30 minutes straight by now. My calves were really burning. I’m going to run Sunday, Tuesdays and Thursdays. The couch to 5 k gets really hard around week 4 and 5 so I hope I can push through it.
Sunday night I went to Hooters with my friend Amy. Well I wanted to go to Olive Garden for their endless salad but there was a 40 minute waiting list. So we went next door to Hooters. I chose to eat a shrimp PoBoy. I think I should have chosen the shrimp salad instead but hindsight is 20/20. The good news though is I didn’t order any alcohol. I drank a ice tea. However Amy ordered wings and I ate two of them. Amy gave me a to go box with 3 more wings in it. Then I looked up the caloric content of Hooters wings and it’s like 175 calories in each wing.
Today I woke up and weighed myself and the scale said 254 pounds. I wanted to scream, but I know that the cause is how I ate last week. those 4 cupcakes I ate Friday totaled 2400 calories. That doesn’t even take into account all the margaritas, tequila, jaegermeister that I drunk that night. All of last week I ate terribly and drunk alcohol almost every night. I gained 5 pounds since last week. I felt panic, like what if I gain all my weight back.
After weighing myself I packed a salad for lunch and those 3 wings Amy gave me then drove off to see my trainer. I took all my credit cards and money out of my purse so that I couldn’t stop to buy cupcakes on my way home from the trainer. My trainer always asks me what I’m eating and I told him I had wings in my car so he told me to give them to him. I felt relieved when I handed them over. That’s almost 600 calories that I didn’t eat. Food..Dieting.. can be so burdensome. After my workout I ate my salad and drank a water.
I don’t know if I mentioned this but I started school last week. I’m studying Strength, Nutrition and Personal Training. I have a Intro to Exercise Science class that I’m taking right now so I had to go to the library to study. I ended up getting so hungry and when I left I was going to stop for fast food, probably Subway, but I didn’t have any money or credit cards in my purse. That forced me to go home to eat, so I ate tilapia, green beans, and red potatoes.
Then I cooked my meals for the next 3 days and ate salmon and green beans. I think I only ate 1200 calories today which is really low but I can’t figure out anything else to eat that wasn’t junk food. This is a recurring problem for me, I can’t figure out what else to eat after I’ve already done the fish and salad and baked chicken so I eat a piece of cake. My problem is I buy an ENTIRE cake and eat it over the week when I can’t figure out what else to eat.
After I ate the salmon I had to rush out to meet someone at the bar next door. This was a huge test for me cause last week I went to this bar 4 times and drank ALOT. Tonight at the bar I just ordered soda water with a splash of cranberry juice. I had 3 of them. I’m proud of myself.
Anyway, I am really hoping that I can drop these 5 pounds I gained really fast because I am devastated to see my weight above 250 again. I should be so much farther along in this process than I am. My trainer said I make progress, then I take a few steps back. I wish I would stop doing that but I’m never going to be perfect.