Yesterday I hit below 240 to 239.5 lbs. Today, I am back at 240.5 which would mean I have not lost any weight this week.
I am distraught.
I have been extremely strict on my diet. Kept my calories low. I have worked out every day, taking one rest day. I don’t know what else to do except to increase my exercise time to 2 hours a day instead of one. I can’t eat any less. When I eat more, I GAIN weight.
Last night I tried eating more. I had some sushi, but I also had drinks for the first time in a month. I had 3 small margaritas and a fruity drink with southern comfort in it. I had 2000 calories yesterday. For the past month I’ve been keeping my calories low to about 1200 a day of real clean food. I have cut out processed food. I don’t eat fried food. I do still have sugar particularly in my 1 serving of greek yogurt per day but I’ve cut my sugar consumption drastically. I was all about sugar for years. Piles and piles of cakes, cookies, pies, cupcakes. I love sugar. But I have cut it way down to just 1 serving of greek yogurt and the occasional whole fruit. But on a regular basis its just the greek yogurt which has 20 grams of sugar in it. Also, I am always hungry now, even right after eating a meal. I attribute this to the fact that I am not eating processed carbohydrates such as bread or cake. My body is accustomed to getting full off of cake and since i have cut that out, I am always hungry no matter what I eat.
I am NOT on this journey to get healthy by the way. I am already healthy according to my doctors, I don’t have high blood pressure, or diabetes or high cholesterol or thyroid issues. I am on this journey to LOSE weight so that I can get HIRED in the fitness industry. So that when I go to interviews at spas they don’t reject me because I am fat which I suspect has happened in the past. I want to work in a industry that is all about aesthetics. Spa resorts like hiring healthy LOOKING people. Very few people will want to hire a FAT personal trainer. One of the reasons I want to do the figure competition is because I think it will be good promotion for me as a personal trainer in the future. I am in school studying to be a personal trainer. My FUTURE depends on me losing weight.
I have ALOT of pressure on myself to lose weight. So it’s devastating to me when I do all this work, sacrifice cupcakes and alcohol, push myself to go to the gym and there is no change on the scale.
Also, it feels like I am working out hard and my calves are burning when I am exercising but then when I look at the calories burned on my heart rate monitor, they are so low. I was so irritated today cause I walked at a hill incline on the treadmill for 45 minutes and all I burned was 245 calories. There are people who burn 500 calories in a hour, why am I burning so few? Why does it feel like my intensity is high but it doesn’t show that in my calories burned? I am still working on my running. 5 minutes still burns but I am still doing the 5 minute intervals. I’m going to try to push past it this upcoming week.
I think I need to do more as far as exercise goes. The people on the Biggest Loser drop huge numbers because they are working out like 4 hours a day. So maybe I can do 2 hours a day. I will have to start going back to the exercise classes in the morning. If I could only get to sleep at night. My sleep schedule is completely upside down. I wonder if that is affecting my cortisol levels. Increased cortisol can make it dificult to lose weight. I get alot of sleep though. 12 hours a day of sleep actually.
I’m just frustrated and desperate at this point.