wow, so I lost 5 pounds this week. That brings me to a total of 13 pounds lost this month.
I did a little exercising and stuck to my eating plan of 1500 calories. I really need to increase my calories to 2000 but I’m scared I will stop losing weight.
So there is this really cute guy on youtube, who has these awesome videos about loving plus size women. I got into a discussion with him about it, cause he doesn’t really understand why I want to lose weight. I find that a lot of guys who like me the way I am, get worried that I am going to lose my curves if I lose weight. Guys on plentyoffish and okcupid are like “please don’t lose your curves”. I don’t think it’s possible for me to lose my curves unless I went down to like 110 pounds soaking wet. I will always have some boobs and hips.
So this is what I wrote that guy:
I like my body the way it is, I think I have a good shape, great boobs, I could use a bigger butt, but for the most part I like my body. I think I’m beautiful. However, several things make me want to lose weight.
For one, I have high blood pressure and I’m worried about developing diabetes. I can lower my blood pressure with exercise and weight loss.
But before I even found out I had high blood pressure I wanted to lose weight because I want to work in the fitness and spa industry and I cannot get hired because I am overweight. I have been to so many job interviews where I know that I have the most education for that position and I am the most qualified for that position and yet they don’t hire me. The only thing I can think of is that I am fat and I don’t represent what they want. They want someone who represents health and fitness. They can’t think outside the box. So I will have to fit myself into their box.
As far as me wanting to get a figure competitor look, I wanted that even when I was thin. I haven’t been big my whole life and people do treat me different as a big woman. Less men talk to me except online. Guys talk to me online but I can’t even remember the last time a guy flirted with me in person.
But I’ve been into figure and fitness competitions my whole life. It is very difficult to get that look and I will consider it an accomplishment if I can get my body ready for the stage. I know that a lot of people appreciate my body the way it is and I appreciate them, but I also have my own goals. I don’t want to look like a boy and I know that I will always have boobs and hips.
Also, and this will be the most shallow thing I will write, but rich men do not look for obese women. I’ve been on this website called SeekingArrangement for over 2 years and not one guy has tried to talk to me on there. My sister who is thin, is also on there and guys talk to her all the time. Not to say I’m a gold digger, but it would be nice to meet a man who can afford to take me out to dinner, etc.. Instead of constantly being contacted by guys who have no job and just want me to come over their house and please them which is never going to happen. Yes I have a boyfriend and he’s a great guy but he is married and I want my own man. But he is literally the best I can get. The guys who try to talk to me are pathetic. It would be nice to find a guy who has his shit together and loves me.
Anyway, that’s a lot of info for this week. Thanks for supporting me guys.