Struggling

I am really struggling with my diet

I have been overeating for about a week now and its really bad

last night after I ate my caloric goal

i got out of bed and drove to mcdonalds and got a large fry and a vanilla ice cream cone

I should mention that I was drinking alcohol before I did that, so I don’t know if that influenced me

but that’s not all

I came home and ate a whole box of granola bars that did not belong to me

I don’t know who they belonged to but I feel so ashamed

and I’m scared shitless that I am going to gain all my weight back

after I just got rid of my entire wardrobe cause it was too big

This eating last night really scares me, I cannot make that a habit

I need to self correct over the next four days

I need to see if my therapist can help me with this, this is really concerning

It’s not just my eating I am struggling with

I am overspending again, I feel like I can’t stop shopping

and

I’ve been dreaming about texting my ex boyfriend

and I’m not getting enough sleep, I keep waking up really early

Something is wrong I feel, I’m just not sure what it is that is motivating these behaviors

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2 thoughts on “Struggling

  1. jmarie1974 September 18, 2019 at 3:04 pm Reply

    ah hun, bless you 😦
    Draw a line under your spending, and the food choices. No point beating yourself up about it now. You can find your strength, you just need to look deeper. what works for me is stopping myself from doing whatever it is (usually big bag of crisps) and thinking, seriously thinking, do I need this, do i REALLY need this. obviously you’ve had a rubbish time with your car and the ending of your relationship, but the strong you is in there, you just need to work on finding her. Good luck with your councillor.

  2. Fat to Figure GIrl September 18, 2019 at 6:49 pm Reply

    thank you so much for the comment and support

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