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What I ate again

Yesterday was the first time in about 2 months that I ate under my allotted calories for the day.

Breakfast : Starbucks banana bread, Iced caramel macchiato with almond milk – 670 calories

Lunch: White bean and feta salad, banana – 560 calories

Dinner: potatoes, brussels sprouts, fruit bar – 390 calories

Snack: Lean Cuisine Parmesan Crusted Fish, fudgescicle – 380 calories

Total calories ate for the day: 2000


What’s killing us

Tonight I’m watching the documentaries; ‘Forks over Knives‘ and “What the Health” on Netflix.

Although they have their critics, I highly suggest these films for people who are meat/poultry/dairy/egg eaters.

Among other things, these documentaries explain;

  1. that dairy has strong links to asthma and mucus production, both of which I have currently. I’m reducing all my dairy consumption, no yogurt, no ice cream, less butter, way less cheese because I would like to clear up my sinus issues which I have had since I was about 15 years old. The doctors said my sinus issues (chronic sinusitis) are caused by a deviated septum which can be corrected with surgery, but that’s confusing cause how does a deviated septum CREATE mucus? I understand that the mucus doesn’t drain properly with a deviated septum but it can’t CREATE the mucus in the first place. I believe that is caused by dairy. Keep in mind I haven’t drank milk in over a year, but I have been eating yogurt, and turkey egg & cheese croissants, and milk shakes, and boba tea and ranch dressing on my salad. All containing dairy.
  2. why eating animal protein causes cancer and heart disease and why drinking milk CAUSES calcium deficiency contrary to what we’ve been taught.
  3. The leading source of sodium in the American diet is CHICKEN, even ‘all natural’ chicken is injected with sodium. Similar to cigarettes, CHICKEN is full of carcinogens.
  4. Even fish have estrogenic and cancer promoting properties. Depending on the fish it’s high in cholesterol like salmon or a mercury sponge. Farmed fish are no healthier either.
  5. The dairy industry (butter/milk and milk products) have made a concerted effort to confuse the consumer into thinking saturated fat is ok. They funded studies with an outcome favorable to their agenda.
  6. Companies like Kraft, Dannon, Oscar Mayer, Tyson, KFC and more—which sell processed foods high in fat, sodium or sugar like mac and cheese, hot dogs and flavored yogurt—are sponsors of the American Diabetes Association, American Cancer Society, Susan B. Komen, and may have a financial stake in diet recommendations by health groups.
  7. A whole foods / plant based diet reverses heart and cancer conditions and decreases risks for a host of other illnesses such as inflammation, high blood pressure and diabetes.


Vegan is the goal

I don’t think I could go Vegan immediately, but this guy makes a compelling argument for it. I have to get to a point where I’m even comfortable eating vegetables. I love certain fruits.

I do eat ice-cream, cheese and butter on my veggies.

I can go without honey, eggs and animal milk.

I love yogurt but I can get a yogurt alternative easily, wal-mart sells Silk yogurt alternative.

I love blue cheese and ranch dressing on my salad. Wal-Mart doesn’t even sell a vegetable tray without ranch dressing.

It’s crazy how dependent we are on dairy in one form or another.

I wish I could find a ethical dairy farm that doesn’t rape the cows, tear the calf away from it’s mother or pump the cow for milk till pus comes out. I

t’s hard to find prepackaged microwaveable vegetables that don’t have any dairy on them.

I only like pumpkin in my pie and that has eggs in it as do most baked pies and cakes. Check out Gary’s website:


How Anxiety affects my diet

I’ve had clinical depression over 20 years, I’m not sure how long I’ve had anxiety and I was diagnosed bi-polar in 2011. Thru the years I have developed a lot of habits and phobias to deal with my depression and anxiety.

As this website explains “Major clinical depression interferes with a person’s ability to cope with daily stresses and obligations, often rendering an individual unable to function effectively in their everyday life, including work and family activities.”

Depression and anxiety affects every tiny part of my life, in ways people would never even think of.

First of all, it’s a stretch for me to even get out of bed. Self care is the most difficult for me; taking showers, brushing hair and teeth, eating, washing clothes, its all hard. Some people don’t realize how hard daily life for some can be

Secondly, I have severe anxiety about being in the kitchen and also about cleaning dishes. I get overwhelmed so I try to avoid it at all costs. I believe that is what led me to a lifestyle of 0 cooking/ 0 meal prep. I eat all pre-packaged food, the only dishes I use is a fork and spoon and occasionally a plate or bowl but I try to use the same ones over and over so as not to accumulate a lot of dishes to be cleaned. I try to limit the amount of time I’m in the kitchen to less than 5 minutes per day.

Now this is all coming to a head.

My mom wants me to wash dishes more. My mom cooks and dirties a lot of dishes on a daily basis and she wants me to contribute to cleaning them. I think I should do it, my mom helps me in a lot of ways every day. I have wanted to help out in this way and I get horrible anxiety about it. I have actually stood over the kitchen sink with the dirty dishes and stood frozen, unable to move,  trying to talk myself into cleaning the kitchen. I get so much anxiety I have to go sit down in my bedroom.

I called my sister about this last night cause I was having a panic attack over it. My sister said she actually had the same anxiety over being in the kitchen cooking and cleaning but she attributed hers to not wanting to subscribe to traditional female roles. She said maybe I was panicking because I had went out of my way to avoid making dirty dishes and yet in the end I have to clean dishes anyway. I think that is the major part of it.

My sister suggested I #1 – try to figure out why I have this anxiety and #2 when I need to clean the kitchen bring something to distract me. So I am going to try that, I am going to try to clean the kitchen once a week and bring my laptop and watch my Youtube vlogs at the same time. Hopefully that will help.

I’ve been working with my therapist on this other anxiety issue, which is overeating at night. I don’t know why I have anxiety at night, but it causes me to overeat terribly. Like TERRIBLY. I eat thousands of calories at night. I wake up in the middle of the night just to eat whatever junk I can find, even peanuts, crackers, dates, anything I can just pop in my mouth. It’s awful. We are working on that.

Depression and anxiety affects me in multiple other ways too, but this is just some of how it affects my diet.

Update: Cheap Lazy Vegan

I joined a Beginners Vegan Facebook group and got a lot of good suggestions on how to get cheap plant based meals that fit in my budget and require no prep and no cooking (besides microwave). I’m ordering the stuff they suggested on , I’m going to try it out for a week and see how I like it, if I like it I’ll probably stick to it.

The thing that swayed me is reading studies about how vegan blood does actually fight cancer better than meat-eaters blood and vegan/vegetarians have over 30% less risk for disease overall. Vegans do get cancer and disease like everyone else though and on Twitter I named  actual vegan people who have died from cancer and heart disease. But you do lower your risk significantly when you switch to a plant based diet.

I am currently perfectly healthy but I want to remain that way. I am concerned abut clogging my arteries and developing diabetes. I need to eat way less saturated fat. Replacing meat with vegetables can help with that.

I don’t know if I can go FULL vegan, cause even a lot of the Steamers vegetables they suggested on Facebook has butter and cheese on it, but there are some options that do not. For now I will try a plant-based diet that is not full vegan but is more lacto-ovo vegetarian. I’m going to eat more beans and rice and vegetables and less Hot Pockets and Luncheables.

Someone suggested I look at

She’s ok but does require some meal prep and cooking for her meals. I haven’t used a stove or chopped food in over a year.

I may do vegetarian 5 days a week and then when I go out with my girls or family, eat a little meat twice a week. I’ll let you guys know how it goes and post the meals I eat.

How to become vegetarian/vegan

All this talk about how a plant based diet is better for your health has made me curious,

How would I even switch to a plant based diet without drastically changing my lifestyle? I don’t cook, I don’t prep food. I use the microwave and toaster, that’s it.

Most of my food is pre-packaged which makes it very easy to record the calories. When there was a Trader Joe’s nearby, that was so much easier cause I would buy the pre-packaged salads. But there is no Trader Joe’s or Whole Foods in my town.

My food budget is $100/week and that includes going out to a restaurant with my girls once a week. My grocery budget weekly is about $65-70.

Past experience shows that  I won’t stick to anything that requires a drastic lifestyle change. If it’s easy to do, I will do it. For example; recording calories is so easy to do because I have a phone app, so I do that.

Past experience shows I won’t stick to eating foods I don’t enjoy. My mom eats super healthy, she eats lots of vegetables and fruits and it looks gross to me. I don’t want to eat a orange instead of a brownie. I might do it for a month, but it won’t last.

So  what would I eat if I switched to a plant based diet? I would like to include more fruits and vegetables and less processed meat in my diet. I would REALLY like to stop eating so much sugar too but that’s a different beast. I love the power bowls from Jamba Juice which are full of fruit that I enjoy, but also super expensive at almost $9 a bowl. I also like the Healthy Choice white bean and feta Power Bowl which are full of veggies and seeds, those are about $4.

I need plant based food options that are pre-packaged mostly and around $4-$6 each. Something I can just open and eat or throw in the microwave or toaster. For example currently I eat a hot pocket ($4 for a pack of 2) or a Luncheable (less than $2) for lunch and a Healthy Choice or Lean Cuisine microwave meal ($3-4) for dinner.

I’ve been watching Unnatural Vegan Youtube Videos –

I also watched a tedTalk from a guy who ate plant based during the week and only ate meat on weekends.  I thought that was interesting.

Ceasing eating meat

I went to Red Lobster with my mom and sisters yesterday. I added up my Red Lobster meal calories and it was 2,350 calories. That was 65% of my calories for the day. 51 grams of saturated fat, my goal is 22 a day. Yesterday was a fail nutritionally.

Just spent a full 24 hours arguing on twitter with vegan/vegetarians about the moral of eating animals, animal agriculture solutions, and how going vegan isn’t the answer to everything in life. They all lost their minds when I told them the animals WANT us to kill them to be our food.

I was raised in a Muslim cult. We were taught that some animals purpose is to worship God and God says in the Koran that animals are here for the benefit of humans including food. My opinion is if some animals want to please God, they want to fulfill their purpose on earth and for some of them, that is being food.

Here is more info on that:

I am not Muslim anymore, I am agnostic, I don’t really believe in religion at all. But some things stuck with me from childhood, one is how I view animals for food and the other is I don’t eat pork and never have.

I do think animals should be treated way better and I’m willing to vote for laws that would make that happen. I would love a way to enforce those laws as well. I watched Cowspiracy and Food Inc. I know that current animal agriculture is awful for the environment and there are things we can do to improve that which does not include stopping eating meat.

People think being vegan is the answer to stopping animal cruelty, saving the environment, perfect health. There are many answers to those issues that do not include being vegan/vegetaian.

Not eating meat, is not the only answer to everything. I can post many links about that as well, here are some.



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