Went to therapy today. My therapist says I’m on track with my goals.

I am super stressed about the GRE, I need this CBD oil to kick in, I’ve been taking it for a week with no effect so far that I can tell, I’ve been studying almost everyday. It’s stressful cause I don’t know hardly any of this topics in the course work. I don’t know how I’m supposed to remember all these tips.

I haven’t been buying stuff which is good but there are a couple things I bought:

  1. a computer cord, mine died and I couldn’t use my laptop which is a no-no cause I have to study for the GRE online, the computer cord was $25. Which seemed like a steal considering on the Apple website it cost $79. I got it off amazon for 1/3 of the price
  2. nail polish and nail polish remover ($13), so I looked at my feet at work and I was appalled at how horrible they look. My polish was chipped and my feet looked raggedy. Unfortunately I can’t afford the $30 to get a pedicure this month, so I stopped at CVS and picked up polish in my favorite hot pink color for my toes. I will do my own toes for a couple of months. And put the $47 I saved towards the overage from going out this month and buying CBD oil.

So I painted my toes and it was difficult. I can barely reach my feet so my toes don’t look perfect. But they look better than they did before.

I lost another 2 pounds but I bet I gained it back cause today I ate a shrimp PoBoy with a Swamp Thing (frozen alcohol drink) for lunch. I went to “lunch” with my Ladies Dinner meetup group. I can’t miss that meetup cause it helps my mental health and it’s part of my life goals to have a social life. For dinner I am having bread pudding that I took To-Go from Razoos. After “lunch” I went to work for 3 hours.

Now I’m chilling at home, about to take my CBD oil and my other meds and take down this bread pudding, watch a little YouTube, hopefully talk to my honey.




I’m trying to recover from going out last week

When last I posted, I needed $67 to get back on track financially. Well I picked up two shifts at work this week, so that will put me back on track for the month.

I had gained 4 pounds from going out two days and my weight crept up to 275.8. Well I ate fewer calories and now I’m back down to 273. It’s still not at goal, but it’s close.

So it looks like I’m back on track with everything. Maybe pick up one more shift and eat low calories one more day to be completely where I need to be with a little cushion.

I have to work Wednesday so i will not be going to my Ladies Dinner meetup. I want to go back to karaoke on Wednesday night. The drinks are $3 there Wednesday nights. That’s in my budget.

Can’t Do It

Unfortunately I can’t go out anymore. I spend too much money. I went out last night and tonight and I spent $100 on drinks and food in 2 days. That’s waaaaay over my budget. I’m kinda freaking out about it.

I also went over on my calories tonight. I’m not meeting my goals and its only 3 days into the month. I want to cry.

I think I just can’t go out. I was supposed to meet that girl next Tuesday to go out again, but I’m gonna have to back out. I just don’t have the money. I can’t believe how far over my budget I have spent in just 2 days. Screwed up my whole month. I’m going to have to take money from other places to cover what I spent, like take money from my fuel budget, maybe not get a pedicure this month. I don’t even think I can take it from any place else. In total I have spent $152 over my budget. To compensate for that I will not get a pedicure this month so that’s $30, I will take $20 from my gas/fuel bill and not go any more long distances to save fuel, then my mom gave me $30 today. So that is $80. So I just need to come up with $67.

I’m going to try to pick up a few shifts at work to cover what I spent, but theres no guarantee anyone will give up their shift for me.

I wanted a social life, but I can’t afford one at this time. It kind of makes me sad, but now I know how my friend Marlie in Phoenix felt going out with me. She would always tell me she couldn’t afford it so my boyfriend would pay for me and her. I know how she felt now. At least now I know.  I have to stick with playing cards on Sunday and my Ladies Dinner meetup group on Wednesdays.

I started off the night going to dinner with my Ladies meetup group. We went to a BBQ place and I had mac n cheese, sweet tea, and cornbread. The girl I met yesterday came tot he meetup dinner.

Then we went to Bingo at a local bar. I won the last round and got a $20 food gift certificate for a prize. Yay! This girl is so friendly and we met a lot of people at the bar. The manager paid for us a shot.

So there was this girl there and she mentioned that she sold CBD oil and I told her that my brother had recommended to me that I take that for my anxiety. So anyway, I bought some off her for $85. That wasn’t on my budget either BUT that is more like medication for my mental health, so I can find a place in my budget for that. It will come out of my miscellaneous budget over the next 6 months. I just want to see if it works.

After we left there we went to another bar called Yesterdays and they had karaoke. I was so in my element, I love karaoke. I sang “Oops I Did it Again” and “I Want it That Way”. I ended up eating there too. Catfish and fries.

Right now I am having a lot of anxiety centered around the GRE. I just feel like I’m not smart enough to take it. I’m smart, but I just don’t know some things and theres no way I can memorize all these tips they are giving me on the Princeton Review website. It’s really scary to me that I might not get accepted into grad school cause I got a low score on the GRE.

Improving my social life

OK so tonight I went out, achieving my goal of improving my social life

we went to a Open Mic comedy club in Houston and it was great

I had so much fun, the woman I met up with was awesome

We had food before we went to the comedy club, and then after the comedy club we went to a Irish bar with one of the comedians

The only downside is I spent $50 instead of $16

so yea

I overspent, I had a lot of drinks

I gotta do better

we plan on going out next week so I will try to do a lot better on my spending on drinks,

I am so happy I went out, it was the best night I’ve had in a long time

I listened to this song on my Hour and Half drive home: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bPM7uIuB2Gs

What I Spent and Ate

Today I went to therapy, then I went grocery shopping at the Indian store and I spent $3 over my budget. So I have to subtract that $3 from my eating out budget this week.

A girl contacted me off meetup.com and we are going to a comedy show tomorrow, so that is going towards my goal of having a busy social life

Because we are going out, I increased my eating out budget by $10 per week, to make it more realistic. So now my eating out budget is $35 per week. I’m going to try to spend only $16 when I go out tomorrow and then another $16 when I go to my weekly dinner on Wednesday. It’s going to be difficult but not impossible. We are going to dinner before the comedy show and I can’t eat much at the place because its a wing shop and I’m a pescatarian, plus my diet goals, so I’ve decided to just have some sweet potato fries and water at dinner. That is $7. Then at the comedy show hopefully they will have a drink I can order around $8 plus $1 tip. It says Comedy Happy Hour so hopefully it will be Happy Hour prices. I think the key to sticking to my spending budget will be to have a plan ahead of time.

Today I studied for a LONG time for the GRE. I did 3 sections of Verbal and 1 section of Math. The Math frustrated me and I needed a release so I decided to go shopping. Wait!! before you roll your eyes. I had a coupon for Bath & Bodyworks for a free item up to $6. I decided this was a good time to test my No-Buy will power. So I went to Bath & Bodyworks and only got my $6 free item. I did not spend a penny at the mall.

I left the mall and filled my tank with gas, then came home and went to a GRE Math class on Exponents and Roots. Roots are so confusing to me but the class helped a lot.

As for my diet goals, something is wrong because I have gained 2 pounds. I gained 1 pound since yesterday. This is really concerning to me so I’ve decided to drastically lower my calories today to see if that makes a change. Instead of eating my normal 1600 – 1700 calories, I am only going to eat 1200 today.

So far today I have eaten:

Breakfast: oatmeal (380 cal)

Lunch: Soy wrap sandwich (410 cal)

Dinner: not yet

Whatever I eat for dinner will be around 400 calories



My goals

Me and my therapist decided it would be a good idea for me to make a vision board to help me with my goals

So here is what I have, I tried to find pictures to put on it and couldn’t find anything I like


Right now I have 3 big Goals I am trying to reach in life:

  1. Stop Overspending, going into debt
  2. Losing Weight
  3. Studying more, Graduate degree goals

I also have other goals such as making friends, getting a boyfriend, getting out of the house and doing more activities

I talk about my goals with my therapist every week, we try to find the root of my issues and find tools and tactics to making better decisions.

No-Buy for 6 months

This week I bought 4 pair of panties from Lane Bryant, two pair of shoes, some hair scrunchies and white jean shorts from Torrid.

Every time I see a store has deals I buy something compulsively and impulsively.

I’ve been shopping like this for almost a year. I’ve bought over 15 pair of shoes since I started my part time job.

I believe I have a shopping addiction, or compulsive buying addiction. Also shopping is a symptom of my bipolar disorder.

I cannot diagnose myself but I have been discussing this with my therapist for months

I have put myself into major credit card debt, causing me financial issues. It’s gotten so bad that last week I had to ask my sister to borrow $70 so I could go see a doctor because my pilonidal cyst has not stopped draining and I’m worried about it.

I want to do something about it starting July 1, 2019

I’m going on a No-Buy from July 1 , 2019 – January 1, 2020

What this means is I cannot buy: Shoes, Clothes, Bath & Bodyworks products (no lotion, body wash, fragrance, candles), makeup, skin care, hair accessories, jewelry. No housewares, storage containers, no new memberships or subscriptions.

What I can buy: groceries (as long as I stick to my $50/week budget), food when eating out once a week (as long as I stick to my $35/week budget), personal care items such as toothpaste, maxi pads, tissue, detergent, deodorant, RX’s, OTC vitamins and medicine, and services like my monthly pedicure, car maintenance. I can REPLACE items I use regularly such as eyebrow pencils and hair gel when I have truly run out of them. Also I can buy concert tickets to see BTS if I stick to my No-Buy.

Also as I mentioned in a previous post, I cut out my hair styling appointments, and my housekeeper and my manicures. I cut out extra spending on alcohol/liquor.

The purpose of this No-buy is to retrain my brain to stop shopping compulsively and impulsively. It is also so I can pay down my credit cards, reduce my debt and not go into further debt.

I don’t need anything, I have everything I want. It is not necessary for me to shop the way I do. I have an abundance of everything , for example I have 17 bottles of body wash from Bath N Bodyworks . That is more than I can use over the next 2 years.

Wish me luck on my No-Buy.

This is my budget I need to stick to and not add any additional debt to my credit cards.

$435 – rent/utilities
$70 – car insurance
$54 – phone
$30 – Miscellaneous : (personal care, OTC med, RX)
$361 – Food/Groceries/Dining Out  $40.25/week – Dining Out (meetup group, next-door.com meeting, or brunch with mom), $50/week -Groceries
$80 – gas/fuel
$24 – therapist ($6 weekly)
$5 – Apple Music
$30 – pedicure
$110 – credit cards
TOTAL – $1199

Check out this Youtube channel to find out more about No-Buys, and Compulsie Buying Addictions: https://www.youtube.com/user/TaraLaneDesigns/videos


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