Consumption

I’m watching this Youtube video on the 7 insane ways Americans waste money: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjo7Ut7Acrg

One of my New Years Resolutions is to stop spending money on clothes/shoes/beauty products

I just counted my clothes and I own:

• 72 tops including sweaters but not including jackets and coats, it also doesn’t include track suits (what I use as walking suits)
• 28 bottoms, not including shorts
• 20 dresses and jumpsuits
• 16 bras
• 35 panties
• 43 shoes

This count does not include the clothes I have stuffed in drawers because they are too small for me. I have 2 drawers full of clothes I bought online that I can’t fit. Hopefully by the end of this year I will be able to fit that stuff.

I literally have more clothes than I can ever wear

Keep in mind I do not even put on a different outfit every day

Usually I am sitting around in pajamas

which will change once school starts of course (school starts next week)

Once school starts I will be wearing something different 5 days a week (2 days school, 1 day dinner with Ladies, 2 days work) so hopefully I can finally wear everything I own cause this is ridiculous

I bought 95% of that stuff in 2019. I went into debt terribly buying that stuff. Like $6000 of debt. I kept finding an excuse to buy more. Like “oh I’m smaller I need a new wardrobe”. But it’s like I didn’t know when to stop.

I am happy I am not buying clothes this year, I don’t think my closet can handle another thing

 

 

I overate last night

I’ve tried Overeaters Anonymous, but it didn’t work for me

I over ate last night

After eating all my meals I had only eaten 50 calories over my goal

then late last night I got up and ate TWO empanadas

The reason I ate the first one is that I was hungry

The reason I ate the second one is because the first one was so good

Those were 700 calories

So I overate my calories by 750

I will NOT make it a habit, I plan to not buy more than 1 empanada at a time in the future

I try not to bring food in the house that I will over eat on

Like for instance, I could buy a box of sugar free cookies

But the problem is they have 100 calories per cookie and I would eat the whole box, so that’s like 2000 calories, so no I won’t be doing that

I think the reason I was so hungry yesterday is my meals early in the day were so calorie heavy so I didn’t have as many meals as I am used to.

Anyway, so far today has been better

Losing the same 5 pounds

So I’ve already lost 3-4 of the extra pounds I gained when I went crazy eating sweets after Christmas in preparation for my New Years Resolutions

I’ve been eating perfectly and sticking to my Resolutions,

of course its been less than a week so I gotta keep it up

my roommates made chocolate chip cookies last night

I didn’t eat any

I woke up today and my tragus earring was hanging out the back of my ear and I left the house in my pajamas to find a piercing shop to fix it

they were all closed

so I went to my mom’s house and my sister took the earring out of my ear with a tweezer

it didn’t hurt, I was just scared the earring was going to fall down my ear lobe

anyway, so I hadn’t eaten breakfast and I was starving and my mom didn’t really have anything I could eat except some croissants

so I had 4 small croissants, they had 4 g of sugar each and 140 calories each

then I fell asleep on the couch while we were watching “Little”

Then I woke up and my mom made me a veggie burger with cheese while we watched “Snapped”. All these girls killing their parents. What in the world? This is why I don’t think it’s worth it to have kids. Really! I don’t want children. They are a pain in the ass and might try to kill you.

I left around 5:45 pm and drove home

Now I’m just drinking sparkling water and I weighed myself late in the day after eating everything and I still weigh 2 pounds less than my goal

Yay!

Gotta keep it up though

First Diet Trial

I woke up around 11 am and went grocery shopping. I needed some green vegetables and salad. For breakfast I had my protein oatmeal.

For lunch I had a 180 calorie greek salad with 15 calorie vinaigrette dressing.

Today I went out with my mom and friends to Outback and I tested my new eating strategies.

Remember: No sugar, no alcohol, stick to calories.

For my drink I ordered sugar free Red Bull. 10 calories. I ordered the Bloom Petals for appetizer. They have 750 calories. So I ate 7 petals and stopped, my mom and friends ate the rest. That was less than 1/3 of the Bloom petals so 250 cal for that. For dinner I ordered french onion soup. I ate about 1/3 of it of it. so that was 140 cal. I shared a baked sweet potato with my mom with nothing on it. (It normally comes with honey butter and brown sugar). That was 56 calories. I ate a piece of bread and butter. 78 calories.

So my total calories at dinner was 533

I still have 440 calories left to have for my Real dinner or late night snack whatever you want to call it. I have to eat again to take my medicine.

Anyway, I am happy with how I ate today, I did lose 1 pound this week so far. I want to lose 1 more pound by Sunday.

Happy New Year

I am still recovering from New Years Eve

I went to a nightclub alone on New Years Eve, they were having a drag show

I drank soooo much alcohol

So much whiskey

Before midnight I went to my mom’s house to watch BTS perform on tv

I was soo drunk I don’t remember any of this

They told me I ate all my mom’s nuts

I don’t remember eating anything

Also, I vomited 3 times, I vaguely remember that

I had to throw my dress away cause it was covered in sequins and vomit

Oh it was bad

I woke up naked and I asked my mom how did I get naked

she brought me a night gown to cover up

I was weak ALL DAY

I stayed on my mom’s couch hungover ALL day long

watching serial killer stuff on tv which scared the crap out of me of course

Around 8pm I came home and got right in the shower

then I ate some chili and went to bed

I slept till 2pm today

still recovering

but I had the best time

Happy New Year!!

 

New Years Goals

I’ve decided to tighten up my habits in the New Year

Starting January 1,

• I will strictly stick to my daily caloric goals, which is 1600 cal without exercise and 2000 calories with exercise.
• I will walk at least 10,000 steps per day
• I will eat at least 1 green vegetable every day.
• I will make healthier choices.
• I will go on a No-buy of beauty products, makeup, and clothing/shoes, candles, bath and bodyworks products. I will spend $0 on any of those categories all year.
• I will not drink ANY alcohol in 2020. I only drink like twice a week but I think the alcohol sabotages my weight loss efforts.
• I will not eat ANY ice-cream, candy, cake, cupcakes, cookies or pies AT ALL. Not even if I am offered it for free by someone. On my birthday, May 5, I can have 1 slice of birthday cake but that’s it for the whole year.
• I will post a Youtube video documenting my weight loss efforts at least once per month.

So these are my goals for the whole year. It’s going to be challenging but I know I can do it. I want to change some of my habits and create positive new habits.

I’m doing well

For years I could not lose weight. I was consistently gaining till I got to over 300 pounds. I was miserable.

Hating myself did not help me lose weight. The only thing that made me go on my weight loss journey is being happy with myself and with life and wanting to live a happy healthy life. It’s awesome to want your body to be healthy and I couldn’t feel that way when I was depressed.

Hope is what cured my depression. I have hope that I will have a good future. I didn’t have hope before.

No one can make you feel good about yourself. I had a boyfriend for years and I was still manic depressed. Happiness is something that comes from within. Going to therapy helped. Taking my medication helped. But also what helped was going back to school, getting in graduate school and envisioning a prosperous life for myself.

Today I am doing well and life is good and I am so grateful for where I am at in life.