Taking the day off

Today is the first day since school started that I am able to do nothing without worrying about procrastination.

today I’m not going to do anything but watch youtube videos

I’m taking the day off work and school

just relax and watch videos which relaxes me and cheers me up

I’m kinda sad I can’t be with family on Thanksgiving so I need to cheer up

I’m so incredibly lonely

I have no in person friends or boyfriend.

All my friends live in other states and my boyfriend does too

I only talk to one girl every day

I talk to my boyfriend every day but that’s it

I talk to my mom almost every day

I see my family on zoom on Sundays if I don’t have to work

It’s just so lonely and kind of depressing

My Thanksgiving Plans

I will spend Thanksgiving alone this year. I decided to plan a vegetarian meal for myself.

I will have tofurkey, cranberry sauce, macaroni and cheese and egg nog.

I went to Target yesterday and picked up all the prep.

I also decided I will get drunk on Thanksgiving. I have not drank alcohol since New Years Eve. I didn’t plan to have any alcohol till this New Years Eve, but I think I might be a little sad and depressed on Thanksgiving so I will allow myself to get drunk.

I picked up 5 mini bottles of liquor including rum to add to my Almond Nog.

It cost me about $30 for everything.

I put in all the calories for everything and I will be 1,125 calories OVER my max goal on Thanksgiving.

So since I already know how many calories I will be over by, I plan to get in a bunch of steps to save up calories.

I walked 10,000 steps yesterday, 11,000 steps today. Next Wednesday I will walk to my eyelash appointment which will be about 20,000 steps, then on Thanksgiving Day I will walk 10,000 steps. So that’s 40,000 steps, should be about 1200 calories with all that.

Planning is very important for something like that. I already input all my calories for Thanksgiving including breakfast, lunch and my last meal of that day. I will only eat 3 meals that day.

Do I look smaller?

My housekeeper is Latin and she just came to clean my bathroom and she kept motioning to me and pointing at my face. I finally figured out that she was trying to ask me if I lost weight. She said “smaller, smaller”. LOL so then she was asking me how much I lost and how did I lose it. Maybe my face looks smaller now. I can’t tell. I think I have body dysmorphia cause people keep saying I am smaller, but I only see a small difference.

Oh yea also, my boyfriend called me skinny, which was weird cause I’m still in the obese category on the BMI charts.

I’m 5’6″ and weigh 197 pounds which puts my BMI at 31.8

BMI Categories: 
Underweight = <18.5
Normal weight = 18.5–24.9 
Overweight = 25–29.9 
Obesity = BMI of 30 or greater

What I’m eating Today

Last night I got really hungry. I’m really hoping my stomach shrinks eventually and I don’t get as hungry. There was a time when I did not allow myself to feel hunger , ever! but ‘ve realized that if I eat every time I am hungry, I will gain weight. I try not to get hungry during the day and I eat as soon as I wake up, so I’m not hungry in the morning either. But at night , my last meal is my lowest calorie meal and I get hungry about 1 hour after I’ve eaten it. If I don’t go to sleep right away I will eat some jello around that time. But after that I still get VERY hungry but I have generally reached my calorie maximum for the day. So I just lay there hungry trying to sleep.

Click on any of the following pictures to see what I’m eating zoomed in:

Reached Onederland

Oh I forgot to mention here that I got below 200 pounds about a week ago.

Today I weigh 198 pounds

My next goal is to get to 185 pounds

At 185 pounds I will be out of the OBESE BMI category and into the Overweight BMI category.

Just 13 pounds left to reach that goal. Hopefully I will reach that by February

I’m hoping to lose 2 more pounds in November

6 pounds in December

and 6 pounds in January

What I’m eating today

You will see that I drank a Soylent Stacked today. I still have some stock of that and a few of the Protein waters with energy (stimulants) as well. So I am going to have just 1 each day until I get rid of my stock. Hopefully I won’t get addicted to it again and have withdrawal symptoms like last time when I stop drinking it. I was taking way more stimulants before every day though. I don’t think 1 serving of them a day for a little while will cause any damage and it’s just until I deplete my stock. I don’t want to waste money.

Click the following pictures to zoom in:

Lifestyle Change

The key to sticking to a diet is:

Eat exactly what you love to eat. That is the key, you won’t fall off the wagon if you’re eating stuff you enjoy all the time.

I don’t like clean eating so I could never stick to a diet that included stuff like baked chicken and broccoli. Well I’m vegetarian now but I eat what I love.

I look forward to my meals (especially the Lean Cuisine pizza and the Sweet earth BBQ Quesadillas. Also love my protein oatmeal every morning.), they are delicious, satiating and keep me satisfied.

I’ve been eating this way for 2 years now and I have lost 111 pounds. I am now below 200 pounds.

I have had to lower my calories along the way which makes it difficult but i have it down to a science at this point.

Right now I eat 1400 calories a day.

I have 54 more pounds to lose.

In the end I will probably have to cut to 1200 calories a day for maintenance. And that’s what I will eat for the rest of my life.

Still waiting

I was at 201 pounds again today

I walked 15,000 steps yesterday

and I’m drinking laxative tea today

Hopefully I will be under 200 by tomorrow when I log my weight for the week

Waiting on Onederland

It feels like my body doesn’t want to get below 200 pounds

I’ve been going back and forth between 200 and 201 for about a week and a half

this morning I was at 201

I hope I am not plateauing

there are some more changes to my diet coming up soon.

What I’m eating today

Click on the picture below if you want to see this more clearer