Lunch with mom

Today I went to lunch with my mom at Grub Burger and we both ordered The Beyond Meat Blue cheese burger. Holy smokes it was sooo good. It looks and taste just like beef. It even has a little “blood” in it. I’m not gonna lie I could have eaten a few more of them because I’m a greedy bitch and it didn’t fill me up. However it had like 950 calories in it. Maybe a little less but the menu said 950 calories for the burger with regular animal meat. They didn’t say how many calories the Beyond Meat substitute had so I just put the calories that they had on the menu for the regular burger. But it was DELICIOUS and I recommend everyone get the Beyond Meat Burger if it is an option.

For breakfast I had the Sweet Earth Big Sur Frozen Breakfast Burrito (290 cal)

I have 425 calories left available for dinner.

My caloric goal today is 1,660

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1 Perfect Week

I’m going to try to eat perfectly this week. I want to lose 5 pounds this week. I am on my period so that makes me retain water and makes me bloated. I should be off my period by the time I weigh myself on Sunday. My goal is to be at 270 lbs. on Sunday. This week for my Ladies Dinner Meetup, we are going for sushi on Wednesday. I’ve already picked out what I want off the menu. Shouldn’t put me over my calories.

My goal is to not go over my caloric goal on MyFitnessPal

I’ll record what I eat, everyday this week.

Monday – July 15 I ate:

Breakfast: Protein oatmeal (290 cal)

Lunch: Aloha BBQ Quesadilla (vegetarian) (440 cal), I bought some key lime pie and I ate all of it. 2 servings of Key Lime Pie (640 cal), I had a shot of whiskey praline pecan (120 cal)

Dinner: So I had planned to just have some fruit cups for dinner since I ate so much at lunch. I tried it, 2 No Sugar Mixed Fruit (60 cal), but later I got super hungry as I was going to bed and I can’t sleep on a hungry growling stomach so I went to the freezer and found the thing with the least amount of calories which happened to be this Seafood Gumbo (210 cal)

I went over my caloric goal for the day by 73 calories. My goal was 1660 cal and I had 1,760 cal. I had a 27 calorie exercise leeway.

I’m not going to beat myself up over it, but I will not have dessert the rest of this week so that I don’t overeat

Coping with a Shopping Addiction

2 Week update on my No-Buy:

Today I went grocery shopping for the week. I spent $40 when my budget is $50. I wanted to make up for the drinks I had on Saturday. So I’m back on top of my food budget.

The only thing I bought that I maybe shouldn’t have was a bottle of nail polish last week. BUT, I bought that cause I decided to cut out pedicures for the rest of the year. The nail polish is for my toes and should last me the rest of the year. I’ll save $150 not getting pedicures for the rest of the year.

Today I bought some reusable straws for $5 off Amazon, those were legal on my No-Buy because they replaced the plastic straws I’ve been using. Plus reusable straws are better for the environment.

One of my coping mechanisms to aid me in my No-Buy is putting things on my Amazon Wishlist instead. So next year if I really still want some of that stuff I would have bought impulsively, I can get it next year off my Wishlist.

Check out my Wishlist:

https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/2120RUETYESS9/ref=nav_wishlist_lists_1?_encoding=UTF8&type=wishlist

2 steps back

Yesterday I woke up early and went to an event held by African American members of the school I want to go to. My mom came with me. I had waffles for breakfast. Then I had 5 mimosas and a margarita. It was really a fun time, I was talking and socializing so much. This put me over my weekly budget for food by $11.50

After that I went to work, I got hungry and ate a protein bar.

When I got home I ate indian food for dinner and I felt some moisture in the back of my panties. I was freaked out that my pilonidal cyst was not healed and I wiped the site where it was located and there was blood. I completely freaked out and went to the emergency room. Turns out my pilonidal cyst has completely healed, theres just a little raw skin tag left that may bleed or drain a little until its fully healed. The nurse took a picture for me to see and it’s literally the tiniest lil piece of flesh. I am so happy I went to the ER, I have been worried for months that I didn’t heal cause theres always a little drainage coming from that site. I feel better now. The nurse gave me some supplies to pack that area for the next week.

I gained weight. I have not lost any weight in a month. This week I didn’t eat well, I had banana foster french toast, pizza, cake, shrimp poboy, bread pudding, waffles. I didn’t do well at all. I have to do better this week.

Goals

Went to therapy today. My therapist says I’m on track with my goals.

I am super stressed about the GRE, I need this CBD oil to kick in, I’ve been taking it for a week with no effect so far that I can tell, I’ve been studying almost everyday. It’s stressful cause I don’t know hardly any of this topics in the course work. I don’t know how I’m supposed to remember all these tips.

I haven’t been buying stuff which is good but there are a couple things I bought:

1. a computer cord, mine died and I couldn’t use my laptop which is a no-no cause I have to study for the GRE online, the computer cord was $25. Which seemed like a steal considering on the Apple website it cost $79. I got it off amazon for 1/3 of the price
2. nail polish and nail polish remover ($13), so I looked at my feet at work and I was appalled at how horrible they look. My polish was chipped and my feet looked raggedy. Unfortunately I can’t afford the $30 to get a pedicure this month, so I stopped at CVS and picked up polish in my favorite hot pink color for my toes. I will do my own toes for a couple of months. And put the $47 I saved towards the overage from going out this month and buying CBD oil.

So I painted my toes and it was difficult. I can barely reach my feet so my toes don’t look perfect. But they look better than they did before.

I lost another 2 pounds but I bet I gained it back cause today I ate a shrimp PoBoy with a Swamp Thing (frozen alcohol drink) for lunch. I went to “lunch” with my Ladies Dinner meetup group. I can’t miss that meetup cause it helps my mental health and it’s part of my life goals to have a social life. For dinner I am having bread pudding that I took To-Go from Razoos. After “lunch” I went to work for 3 hours.

Now I’m chilling at home, about to take my CBD oil and my other meds and take down this bread pudding, watch a little YouTube, hopefully talk to my honey.

Goodnight.

Recovery

I’m trying to recover from going out last week

When last I posted, I needed $67 to get back on track financially. Well I picked up two shifts at work this week, so that will put me back on track for the month.

I had gained 4 pounds from going out two days and my weight crept up to 275.8. Well I ate fewer calories and now I’m back down to 273. It’s still not at goal, but it’s close.

So it looks like I’m back on track with everything. Maybe pick up one more shift and eat low calories one more day to be completely where I need to be with a little cushion.

I have to work Wednesday so i will not be going to my Ladies Dinner meetup. I want to go back to karaoke on Wednesday night. The drinks are $3 there Wednesday nights. That’s in my budget.

Can’t Do It

Unfortunately I can’t go out anymore. I spend too much money. I went out last night and tonight and I spent $100 on drinks and food in 2 days. That’s waaaaay over my budget. I’m kinda freaking out about it.

I also went over on my calories tonight. I’m not meeting my goals and its only 3 days into the month. I want to cry.

I think I just can’t go out. I was supposed to meet that girl next Tuesday to go out again, but I’m gonna have to back out. I just don’t have the money. I can’t believe how far over my budget I have spent in just 2 days. Screwed up my whole month. I’m going to have to take money from other places to cover what I spent, like take money from my fuel budget, maybe not get a pedicure this month. I don’t even think I can take it from any place else. In total I have spent $152 over my budget. To compensate for that I will not get a pedicure this month so that’s $30, I will take $20 from my gas/fuel bill and not go any more long distances to save fuel, then my mom gave me $30 today. So that is $80. So I just need to come up with $67.

I’m going to try to pick up a few shifts at work to cover what I spent, but theres no guarantee anyone will give up their shift for me.

I wanted a social life, but I can’t afford one at this time. It kind of makes me sad, but now I know how my friend Marlie in Phoenix felt going out with me. She would always tell me she couldn’t afford it so my boyfriend would pay for me and her. I know how she felt now. At least now I know.  I have to stick with playing cards on Sunday and my Ladies Dinner meetup group on Wednesdays.

I started off the night going to dinner with my Ladies meetup group. We went to a BBQ place and I had mac n cheese, sweet tea, and cornbread. The girl I met yesterday came tot he meetup dinner.

Then we went to Bingo at a local bar. I won the last round and got a $20 food gift certificate for a prize. Yay! This girl is so friendly and we met a lot of people at the bar. The manager paid for us a shot.

So there was this girl there and she mentioned that she sold CBD oil and I told her that my brother had recommended to me that I take that for my anxiety. So anyway, I bought some off her for $85. That wasn’t on my budget either BUT that is more like medication for my mental health, so I can find a place in my budget for that. It will come out of my miscellaneous budget over the next 6 months. I just want to see if it works.

After we left there we went to another bar called Yesterdays and they had karaoke. I was so in my element, I love karaoke. I sang “Oops I Did it Again” and “I Want it That Way”. I ended up eating there too. Catfish and fries.

Right now I am having a lot of anxiety centered around the GRE. I just feel like I’m not smart enough to take it. I’m smart, but I just don’t know some things and theres no way I can memorize all these tips they are giving me on the Princeton Review website. It’s really scary to me that I might not get accepted into grad school cause I got a low score on the GRE.