Day 1- Fighting my urges

After I got out of class today, I really wanted a donut. I drove by several donut shops but I talked myself out of it. I am not only trying to lose 15 pounds by December, I’m also trying to save money so that I’m not broke on my vacation in Arizona. That means less eating out. I’m going to bring my lunch to work with me and not eat in the food court at work or at school.

Today I ate:

Breakfast – Protein & Fiber Ht Oatmeal Madagascar vanilla and Protein Oatmeal Cranberry Almond (430 calories)

Lunch – Veggie Chilli & Cornbread (340 calories), Half and Half lemonade tea with cranberry apple vodka (173 calories)

Dinner –

Snack –

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A short term goal

I just purchased a plane ticket to go see my boyfriend in Arizona in December before Christmas but after school ends.

So I was thinking it would be nice to be under 300 pounds when I see him. I decided that starting today, I am on a 3 month diet trying to lose 15 pounds. 5 pounds per month wouldn’t be too hard. I just gotta give up the pizza and donuts, which I can do that for 3 months. I’ll tell myself “You can have pizza and donuts on December 22 when you get back from Arizona”.

My goal will be to maintain that 15 pound loss when I get back from Arizona. I’m not going to try to continue losing after that because I think I would be setting myself up to fail if I try to do a long term diet. I am not diet compliant and when I try to do a long term “lifestyle change”, I end up binge eating. Not going to try to lose a lot of weight until I get my bariatric surgery, which by my estimation will happen 3 years from now if I accomplish my 5 year life goals plan. So I’ll be fat for 3 more years unless I come up with $9,000 before then.

I had my last slice of pizza today until December. I went with my ladies meetup group to a pizza place. I go to this group every Wednesday for socialization. It helps my depression to chat with a group of girls. I ate a thin crust vegetable pizza with tomato sauce and 3 different cheeses- feta, gorgonzola and mozzarella.

Anyhoo I am so excited to see my man. It’s been 2 years since I saw him.

Veestro

Do you guys think I should try https://www.veestro.com , or do you think $8 per meal is too expensive? I’m looking for variety in my vegetarian meals and this seems like a good option, but my normal regular meal budget is $4 per meal, 3-4 meals per day. I consider that to be a pretty high food budget, but $8 a meal for 10 meals might be too much, what do you guys think? Should I try them out. I can review the meals here on my blog.

Happy!… working on Healthy

Well I’m really not that unhealthy besides being obese. I don’t have any physical diseases or dysfunctions. I have mental disorders ie. depression, bipolar, anxiety but I’ve been pretty happy lately, I attribute a lot of that to my part time job. I’m really loving it and I get compliments all day from my boss and customers. Who wouldn’t love that? I don’t get paid much at all, It’s been probably over three decades since I’ve made this little amount of money (I’m making a little more than minimum wage) , but I love the job working in retail fashion. I love advising people on what they should wear, putting outfits together, I even like putting the clothes away from the dressing room. My boss appreciates me and we have a good team of girls working there. The only negative is that I stand on my feet for hours and my body hurts when I get off work. I have to take pain killers and muscle relaxers to make it thru the day. It’s nothing too strong; just a mild muscle relaxer and 600 mg ibuprofen. The pain would go away if I lost about 50 pounds.

School just started back up and I hope to get an A in my Economics class and my Computer class, but I’m worried about my Accounting class. The teacher said we cannot use Cheat Sheets on the test and theres a lot of stuff to memorize. I have memory issues. I really need a A in my Accounting class cause that’s my major. I think I’ll go to the tutor on campus and get help with my homework.

I haven’t been back to yoga yet. I have school during the time that my gym holds the yoga class and I could go after school, I just didn’t feel like it last week. Maybe this week will be different.

I ate so many calories today. For breakfast I had an Acai Bowl from Jamba Juice, that has 500 calories, but after work is where I really did some damage. I went to BJ’s Brewery alone and ate Sriracha Brussels sprouts, avocado egg rolls and a salted caramel pazookie. The Pazookie had 1300 calories in it. It was good but damn, I wish I had the will power to just eat half of it. It was sooo warm and gooey with ice cream on it. I typically don’t eat dairy ice cream, because I don’t agree with the dairy industry practices. I’m Pescatarian/vegetarian. But every once in awhile I will eat some dairy.

If you check out my Instagram, I post pictures there every other day.

Small victories

Stepped on the scale and I was at 309. Thats a small loss, according to MyFitnessPal, I’ve lost 5 pounds since last recording my weight. Yay for small victories.

I’ve been eating better this week. Not eating cake every day. I haven’t been to H.E.B. for cake in a week. I’ve been taking my Metformin to help lower my sugar cravings and I think it may be working. I’ve eaten under my caloric goal for about 3 days in a row. Hopefully I can keep it up.

Makeup

I love makeup. I don’t wear a lot of it, but I think it is so fun. I love to watch Youtube tutorials and reviews. My favorite beauty gurus to watch are Jackie Aina and Makeup Shayla.

Yesterday I was watching my friend Hailey (www.DivineMrsDiva.com) do a Facebook live about makeup and she mentioned this website where you can get a lot of name brand makeup at a discount. It’s called All Cosmetics Wholesale ( https://www.allcosmeticswholesale.com ) . They are going out of sale and everything is 60% off.

I bought 6 name brand items for $40 including shipping (the shipping is expensive). I ordered:

URBAN DECAY Revolution Lipgloss – Big Bang			$8.99
JOUER Long Wearing Eye Definer – Noir			$11.99
DOSE OF COLORS Classic Gloss – Attitude			$14.99
HOURGLASS Opaque Rouge Liquid Lipstick – Ballet			$19.99
2 pc TOO FACED Shadow Insurance Travel Tube u/b			$12.99
SOAP & GLORY Scrub ‘Em and Leave ‘Em 10 oz. – $8.99

Subtotal $77.94

Shipping $10.95

Discount (60OffAll) -$46.76

Grand Total- $42.13

I’m excited about my purchases , especially the lip gloss

Update – August 30, 2018

My package came in and there were some hits and misses.

The Hits: The Hourglass lip gloss is so pretty on me and it is not patchy at all. I also like the Urban Decay lip gloss but it is a little patchy.

I haven’t tried the Shadow Insurance. I don’t wear eyeshadow all that much so that’s why. I will try it soon.

The misses: The Jouer eye liner is a miss. It’s a hard liner and the color payoff is not there. The “Dose of Colors” lipstick is pretty but way to light for me. It’s a light pale pink, that doesn’t look good on me. The Soap & Glory body scrub is subpar. I use it in my shower but I could get a better scrub at Target.

Yoga Practice

Just finished my second day of yoga. The first day was Restorative yoga which we mostly did sitting and lying down, today was Beginners Yoga which introduced downward facing dog, which I cannot even do. I can’t get my heavy body off the ground to get into the downward facing dog position, so I just stay in cat pose and dog pose. I was able to do warrior pose but the lunges that go along with it were difficult for me.

My gym has yoga class everyone Tuesday and Thursday and I have my academic classes every tues and thur too, so I’ll just go to yoga when I get out of class. This way I’ll make it a routine and stay consistent.