Emotional Eating

I see a therapist every week and we’ve touched on my eating habits but I don’t think we’ve delved into why I eat the way I do. She’s tried to help me stop eating so many sweets, by saying “Cut this, Add that”, but that doesn’t really get to the root of my problem. Like she’ll say “how about this week, you don’t at any cookies, only eat cake. So not both”. I don’t know if that approach helps me.

I always go back to eating my cookies, cakes, pies, donuts, pizza.

I don’t even know where my emotional eating comes from, so I don’t know where we would start. I don’t even know if I have an “emotional” eating problem. I just like sugary foods and drinks. I think it’s more of an addiction than related to any emotions.

I’ve been pretty happy lately, the past 2 months I’ve been very happy generally. Alot of that has to do with school and work. I feel like I am improving my life and on a good path and I have hope for the future. My anxiety hasn’t been bad at all. I haven’t had to take anxiety medication in 6 weeks.

I’ve been taking this Metformin to help with my sugar addiction. It does help, but late at night I just want to over eat on sweets and I don’t know why. I’ve been able to eat them measuredly the past 4 days, but I dunno how long that will last. I’m trying to write my emotions down when I eat them. Tonight I had molten lava cake, it came pre-packaged with the calories listed. It was 330 calories. My total calories for the day is still under my goal. I didn’t notice a specific emotion when I ate it. I just wanted something to take with my medication. (I have to take my bi-polar medication with food)

Maybe I’ll see if my therapist can delve deeper into my eating habits.

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Bananas Foster

Today I picked up some groceries from Wal-Mart and they had this new flavor of vegan ice-cream:

It’s SoDelicious chocolate drizzled Bananas Foster dairy free frozen dessert. The website describes it as a banana-vanilla-chocolate chip sensation inspired by the classic. This is a new flavor for the season.

I couldn’t wait to try it, the first lick tasted a little odd. I asked my roommate to taste it and tell me what she thought, she says it taste like banana flavored coffee. It’s made from cashew milk and vegan ice-cream can take a minute to get accustomed to. You can definitely taste the banana in this ice-cream and I love the little pieces of chocolate. It has a great texture.

The second and third lick was much much better. I only ate 2 spoons of it so far but I’m pretty happy with it. It’s not too bad calories wise. 180 calories per half cup.

I want to try some other flavors of dairy-free ice cream but most of them are made with cocunutmilk and taste like coconut and I don’t like that. My favorite soDelicious flavor is still the salted caramel dipped chocolate bars. I get them atleast once a week.

I paid $4.47 at WAl-Mart for this Bananas Foster vegan ice cream which is a good price, I heard it’s going for $5.99 at Whole Foods.

Day 4 – Dieting for a life event

Lots of people diet for life events, like a wedding or prom, etc.. My life event is breaking my 2 years of celibacy in December. LOL  Can’t wait to see my boo.

I will be posting what I eat every day until December 18, 2018

What I ate:

Breakfast – Cliff bar (200 calories), Starbucks mocha drink (270 cal)

Lunch – Sour cream and onion potato chips (160 cal), Vegetarian Enchiladas Al Chipotle with black beans and rice (440 cal)

Dinner – Lean Cuisine Tortilla Crusted Fish (310 cal), peach sparkling water

Snack – 2 spoons of bananas foster dairy free ice cream (59 calories), chocolate lava cake (330 cal)

Total Calories today – 1,768

My goal is to stay under 2000 calories per day to lose 1.25 pounds per week for the next 13 weeks. I’ll post my actual weight each week in the Weight Loss Chart section of this website every Sunday.

I’m drinking more water as well, I already drink a lot of flavored zero calorie sparkling water (I crave the carbonation) but I’m also taking plain spring water to work with me and chugging it.

Day 3 – Getting in the groove

Today I brought my lunch to work so that I wouldn’t eat fattening food from the food court in the mall and to save money

Breakfast – Banana Nut Protein Oatmeal & Protein Oatmeal Cranberry Almond (480 calories)

Lunch – Amy’s Indian Palak Paneer with Rice and beans (300 cal), pumpkin spice latte (380 calories)

Dinner – Seafood Gumbo (430 calories)

Snack – Zucchini banana chocolate chip muffins – (120), whole fruit bar (60)

Total Calories for the day – 1770

My goal is to stay under 2000 calories per day.

Day 2 – Easy Peasy

Today was a easy dieting day. I wasn’t craving anything.

What I ate today:

Breakfast: protein Oatmeal Cranberry Almond, Banana Nut Protein Oatmeal (480)

Lunch: Healthy Choice Power Bowl: Curry Cauliflower (290 cal)

Dinner – Healthy Choice Creamy Spinach and Tomato Linguini (230 cal), cranberry mango juice (120), Cranberry Apple Vodka (93 cal)

Snack – 2 Zucchini Banana Chocolate Chip Muffins (240 cal)

Total Calories for the day: 1453

Goal is to stay under 2000 calories per day

Day 1- Fighting my urges

After I got out of class today, I really wanted a donut. I drove by several donut shops but I talked myself out of it. I am not only trying to lose 15 pounds by December, I’m also trying to save money so that I’m not broke on my vacation in Arizona. That means less eating out. I’m going to bring my lunch to work with me and not eat in the food court at work or at school.

Today I ate:

Breakfast – Protein & Fiber Ht Oatmeal Madagascar vanilla and Protein Oatmeal Cranberry Almond (430 calories)

Lunch – Veggie Chilli & Cornbread (340 calories), Half and Half lemonade tea with cranberry apple vodka (173 calories)

Dinner – Thai Green Curry (660 cal), cranberry mango juice (120)

Snack – Cashewmilk Dipped Salted Caramel frozen dessert (180)

Total Calories for the day – 1903

My goal is to stay under 2000 calories a day

A short term goal

I just purchased a plane ticket to go see my boyfriend in Arizona in December before Christmas but after school ends.

So I was thinking it would be nice to be under 300 pounds when I see him. I decided that starting today, I am on a 3 month diet trying to lose 15 pounds. 5 pounds per month wouldn’t be too hard. I just gotta give up the pizza and donuts, which I can do that for 3 months. I’ll tell myself “You can have pizza and donuts on December 22 when you get back from Arizona”.

My goal will be to maintain that 15 pound loss when I get back from Arizona. I’m not going to try to continue losing after that because I think I would be setting myself up to fail if I try to do a long term diet. I am not diet compliant and when I try to do a long term “lifestyle change”, I end up binge eating. Not going to try to lose a lot of weight until I get my bariatric surgery, which by my estimation will happen 3 years from now if I accomplish my 5 year life goals plan. So I’ll be fat for 3 more years unless I come up with $9,000 before then.

I had my last slice of pizza today until December. I went with my ladies meetup group to a pizza place. I go to this group every Wednesday for socialization. It helps my depression to chat with a group of girls. I ate a thin crust vegetable pizza with tomato sauce and 3 different cheeses- feta, gorgonzola and mozzarella.

Anyhoo I am so excited to see my man. It’s been 2 years since I saw him.