the same pound

I keep gaining and losing 1 pound

no matter what I do, if I eat under my calories I gain a pound, if I eat over my calories I gain a pound

i keep going from 264 pd to 265 pd,

I don’t know why I’m not losing

I feel like the only time I lose is if I eat way over my calories and then try to lose, then I will lose

I am considering ordering a pizza

but I really dont want to over eat until thanksgiving

I don’t know what’s wrong

Something is wrong with my body

I’ve eaten under my calories for 3 days and I gained a pound

Also I am still on my period and my period never last this long

it’s been 5 days and I’m still bleeding

I’m proud of the way I’ve eaten this week, I know I did everything I could to reach my goal

I just did not reach it and it’s very disappointing

Remember Guy?

The band from the early 90’s I think

I was listening to them in my car today

I love Apple Music, it makes driving in my car so enjoyable

Tomorrow I think I will listen to Tevin Campbell

do you know of a women’s multivitamin that is small? The one I have is huge and I have to take 2 of them

Still weighed 264 pounds when I stepped on the scale today, my stupid period is robbing me of my weight loss joy

What I ate today:

Breakfast: protein oatmeal (380 cal)

Snack: Protein bar (210 cal)

Lunch: Tortilla casserole and black beans (390 cal)

Dinner: BBQ Quesadilla (420 cal), 2 Nestle choc chip cookie (160 cal)

Total calories today: 1560

Total protein: 61 g

I sleep too much

Yes I sleep too much,

I’ve missed my last 2 therapy sessions because I overslept

today I slept till 6pm

I weigh the same that I did yesterday, 264 pounds

I don’t really lose weight on my period, hopefully it’ll be gone by Sunday along with 2 more pounds

I haven’t bought anything in a week, so I’m sticking to my No-Buy

This month I’ve bought 3 pair of pajamas from Lane Bryant and a candle from Victoria Secret (I regret the candle) and 3 forks and a set of dish towels from Target but that came out of my Household budget so not sure if that should even effect my No-Buy.

I don’t regret the pajamas cause I LIVE in my pajamas and I needed some comfortable ones. I got rid of all my pajamas a month ago. I had bought 4 pair of what I consider to be classier pajamas and 3 of those pair I can’t fit and the  4th pair is not what I prefer to sleep in on a every day basis but I took them with me to Atlanta and I will take them to New Orleans cause they are “classy”. But for every day sleeping, I like sleep shirts with jogger type sleep pants. So that’s what I bought from Lane Bryant this month.

Other than that I have not bought anything this month that was random or unplanned.

What I ate today:

Breakfast: protein oatmeal (380 cal)

Lunch: Chicken’ sliders (380 cal)

Dinner: Sweet Earth Curry Tiger Burrito (330 cal)

Snack: Chinese Noodles and Veggies (450 cal)

Total calories so far: 1,545

Total protein: 64 g

I decided to get serious

For the past 2 weeks I have been pretty serious about dieting,

I’ve been very focused

I am in the middle of breaking a habit, which is eating sweets and cake

It’s difficult, I want oatmeal raisin cookies

I want Italian cream cake with lots of frosting

I want bbq veggie stuffed crust pizza

In the past 6 months, when I wanted this stuff, I just went ahead and got it and then was serious for the following 3-4 days

because of that habit, I wasn’t really losing weight, I was maintaining and losing the same 5 pounds

I want to lose weight

I want to weigh 150 pounds, that is the weight at which I feel I look my best

The last time I weighed 150 pounds was in the mid nineties and I was taking phen-fen, I love the way I looked then

I’m going to show you two pictures

1 is me at 170 pounds

and 1 is me at 150 pounds

You can see my stomach looks way more defined at 150 pounds

I want to look like that within the next 2 years, so I have 114 pounds to lose

I wonder if I will have a lot of skin hanging, some people don’t get alot of hanging skin

we will see

the point is if I want to look this way again, I have to stop playing around

stop my bad food habits

and get on with the business of weight loss

Extreme discipline and planning is necessary

I came on me period today

I also lost another pound today, down to 264 pounds

I went out to dinner with the girls today and ordered a salad

What I ate today:

Breakfast: protein oatmeal (380 cal)

Lunch: greek salad with raspberry vinaigrette dressing (538 cal) and sweet tea with Splenda (40 cal)

Dinner: Sweet Earth Salsa Prime Quesadilla (380 cal)

Total calories: 1,338

Total protein: 46 g

 

Weight Gain gone

Alright now the scale is going in my favor

I’m back at 265 pounds

I gotta lose 5-6 more pounds this month

My goal is to be under 260 by Thanksgiving because I’m going to New Orleans and I’m pretty sure I will have a beignet and a drink or two, so I need to be under my goal so that I have room to gain a pound or two thru Thanksgiving

This just means my eating has to be perfect for the next 15 days

Today I had a protein shake for breakfast from Naked, it had 30 grams of protein

I haven’t eaten anything else yet, but I will update this blog post when I do

Update: What I ate today

Breakfast: Naked Protein Tropical (390 cal)

Lunch: Aloha BBQ Quesadilla (420 cal)

Dinner: Meatless Pepperoni Mac & Cheese (490 cal)

Snack: Gardein Southwest breakfast bowl (330 cal)

Total Calories Today: 1,635

Total Protein: 80 g

My happy place

Today I woke up early, stepped on the scale, was unhappy with the answer and went back to sleep till 4pm without eating anything

Woke up stepped on the scale again, the 1 pound gain was gone

Then I went to the mall for a meeting at work

I arrived early, so I went to the Food Court and got a regular size smoothie in my favorite flavor; orange, strawberry, pina colada (350 cal)

Then I went to work and my boss made me a whole pan of my favorite cheese sandwiches. I ate all 6 of them in quick order. I could eat 20 of them to be honest.

Those sandwiches are my happy place and I am totally fine that they pushed me over my caloric goal, fuck off weight loss, these sandwiches are a good decision for my taste buds

My taste buds deserve to feel excstacy twice a year

When I came home, I watched this amazing show on Netflix called “styling hollywood” which stars this amazing gay black couple. I watched the whole series tonight and I fell in love with them so hard, I searched for their social media and left them fan notes.

Then at 2am I ate dinner which was a Big Sur burrito (290 cal)

MyFitnessPal says I am like 72 calories over my goal but its probably more than that cause I don’t have an accurate calorie count for those cheese sandwiches and I’m fine with that, I will be extra diligent this week, try not to eat cookies made by my roommate, just be good

Today was a good day